Leadership and self-deception: How do we see ourselves and others?

Self-deception is like this. It blinds us to the true causes of problems, and once we’re blind, all the ‘solutions’ we can think of will actually make matters worse. Whether at work or at home, self-deception, obscures the truth about ourselves, corrupts our view of others and our circumstances, and inhibits our ability to make wise and helpful decisions. To the extent that we are self-deceived, both our happiness and our leadership are undermined at every turn…

Members of every culture participate to one degree or another in their own individual and cultural self-deceptions. The discovery of a way out of those self-deceptions is the discovery of hope and the birth of new possibilities and lasting solutions. (Leadership and Self-Deception, preface, page xii)

Leadership and Self-Deception (2nd Edition, The Arbinger Institute, 2010) is an international bestseller now available in more than 20 languages. Every leader needs to read this book to improve their results and their relationships.

What is self-deception?

Not being able to see that I have a problem (seeing others as the problem)

When I'm self-deceived, how do I see myself and others?

I see myself as victim, hardworking, important, fair, sensitive, good employee/boss, and good spouse/parent (inflating my virtues).

I see others as lazy, inconsiderate, unappreciative, insensitive, faker, lousy employee/boss, and lousy spouse/parent (inflating others' faults).

What are the symptoms of self-deception?

• lack of commitment
• lack of engagement
• trouble-making
• conflict
• lack of motivation
• stress
• poor teamwork
• backbiting/bad attitudes
• misalignment
• lack of trust
• lack of accountability
  
• communication problems

How are these symptoms negatively impacting organizations, governments, neighborhoods, nations, marriages, families and the next generation? How are they impacting each of us personally and professionally?

It's very important for us to see each person as having needs, hopes, and worries that are just as real and legitimate as our own. Let's honor and serve one another. As we do, watch relationships and results improve so that together we can find better, lasting solutions to many of today's problems.